I found some wood a few minutes after I walked out of Blick where I picked up the most basic of supplies in all of eleven minutes or less. In any case, the the cost of the tiny haul was a little over eleven bucks. It consisted of 9×10 artist pads. One newsprint. The other tracing paper. (Both dirt cheap.) Three pens. Fine and ultra fine Sharpies. Plus a German born black ink, fine 0,4 Stabilo pen.
At Capital One’s cafe on Union Square, I scribbled the majority of these characters on the newsprint paper I’d purchased while waiting for my phone to charge before I headed to the Bronx. A continuation of the ‘study’ I started that morning on the reverse of the negative metallic ink on black paper I investigated.
This wood piece I worked on was the least filty of the group of four I selected from and pulled from the street. I didn’t wipe it down or treat it. I just dove in placing one full page of sketches, followed by a few cut out from other premade pages and arranged. After bit of paint and doctoring, the rest is history. Very brief history.
A quick and fun project.
The teacher appears. I fathom the teacher is ever present, just invisible because perhaps our egos deliberately stand as opaque figures in our respective lines of sight. Or more likely they are cloaked. One is lucky enough to develop a way of thinking early that looks at the puzzle of life as a series of challenges to meet, engage, build a gainful relationship with and ultimately divorce (in some cases.) Enthused by the opportunity to think laterally. To find or even feel the lessons and bliss or both in cognition. The magic that pulses between each breath of thought. A myriad of things may rob one of this chance. Tradition and intelligence often are nefarious participants in what some conspiracist would deem a ruse which purpose is to keep you from a knowing. Funny though, in order for one to know or ‘be’, one has not the time to busy themselves with conspiracy.
There are no shortages of teachers in life, for true living is a constant education.
Do you want to learn? Is the question.
Are you open to learning? Is the followup.
Today for the first time I really looked at a piece and recognized what I was saying about me and my current experience. I’ve been working a lot this year on pieces and towards the fall I made a decision to create as a painter close to full time. In a process I’d describe as eluding the ego filter, I’m allowing the energy of the unknown to flow through me; directly into pieces. Mostly, there is no thought. In some cases a dance and something mathematical happening. It’s free flowing. Free of anxiety. I’m working on letting go and discovering the results of pure creation.
The sketch above is in colored pencil. I don’t sketch often. I don’t draw. I rarely illustrate. This was a challenge that epitomizes me letting go and allowing. Upon exploring the work I could see it depicts me standing tallish and stretching out while navigating troubled beings. Beings I once held similar position with. I now face the challenge of being surrounded by many who hold my former mentality, in a world to them that resembles how I once felt.
There are things I know that I’ll only share through being. The accumulated experiences of my life as it pertains to my current incarnation are immense. Irrefutable. Even with that I continue peeling back layers, letting go of all to access all. The catalyst for this thing called ‘enlightenment’ is to simply ask; while being open sans judgement. Open and willing to forget what you think you know and believe and be prepped to really KNOW. To master self is integral. Stripping away worry, fear and doubt… Tapping into your inherent ability to create. Moving like a child with the wisdom of experience. Touching nature. Referring to nature. Not being at odds with it. Not being at odds with you.
I cannot explain to you the experience you must have to know. I cannot give you stillness. I cannot do self-work for you . I’ll only suggest to go within. To study you. To realize what struggle and suffering are in order to overcome these illusions. Do these things so that you may dance with knowing.